Have you ever wondered what it means to love others as you love yourself? Whether it is a friendship, a family relationship, or a romantic relationship having the true reflection of love will help us succeed in having a good connection with others. When I started reading my bible, I found messages that pointed out God’s love towards humanity and how much He is willing to give us and has given us already. However, there is one verse in particular that summarises what God really wants us to do.
Mark 12:31 (GNT)
31 The second most important commandment is this: ‘Love your neighbour as you love yourself.’
The bible verse above is so powerful that Jesus said it was the second most important commandment, but let us ponder on the part that says ‘… as you love yourself.’ Many times we give so much of ourselves to others that we empty our own energies and forget or neglect to take care of ourselves. Being a son or daughter of God not only implies that we need to have a good relationship with others but also with ourselves because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. If we do not love ourselves, how can we show love to others?
For what is love? On the one hand, one of the definitions assigned to love is: ‘unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another’. On the other hand, self-love means: ‘having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness.’ Perhaps these two definitions can sound contradictory to some people or even confusing but a central message in loving others as you love yourself is that you are meant to take care of others how you take care of yourself. A beautiful example of taking care of others is the case of Jonathan and David.
1 Samuel 18:1 (AMP)
18 When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bonded to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.
Jonathan was known to protect David, even against his own father King Saul, because he did not want David to suffer any injustice or harm. When Jesus said to love others as you love yourself (considering that you want what is best for yourself) He was saying that if we would not want to suffer any harm, we would not harm someone else, if we did not want to be lied to, we would not lie to others, essentially, we would make sure that our own self-love would be portrayed as true love towards others.
Let us continue defining love with the New Testament, Apostle Paul states the following:
1 Corinthians 13:4-5,7 (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Applying the previous verse to ourselves, we need to meditate on how we show love. If love is patient and kind, not jealous nor boastful, nor irritable, then we ought to be that way towards ourselves. But how many times are we impatient with ourselves, unkind, and irritable, how many times do we accuse ourselves and put ourselves down? When we need to learn new things, do we treat ourselves with kindness or do we compare ourselves unfavourably to others? Do we get irritated with our own actions? Because we need to know that when we compare ourselves to other people’s standards, that will only lead us to think we are not good enough, and we will condemn ourselves instead of loving ourselves.
Additionally, it states, ‘love never gives up’, yet when we shove aside our true purpose in God, we are not only disobeying Him but also not having perseverance in ourselves either.
Enduring every circumstance also means that whatever happens along the way, we are also acquiring new strategies because we have endured a circumstance or situation. Sometimes, if we are not careful, we would even allow ourselves to think that past failures are not making us succeed in life, ignoring the fact that we always learn from our mistakes.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Finally, let us remember God’s grace has always been present to teach us that His love is always working in our weaknesses. When we learn how to love ourselves and allow God to help us work through our flaws, we will also be able to love our neighbours just as we love ourselves. Nourishing ourselves, taking care of ourselves, and knowing our own limitations will help us improve our relationships. Hence, once we do this, we are guaranteeing that regardless of the type of relationship we are trying to establish or sustain, whether with a relative, a friend, or perhaps a romantic relationship, when we love ourselves as God commands us to do, we will be able to love others just like He loved us.
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